Pretty In Pink
by Scepidilionz
Summary: Hanji, Rico, and Petra fawn over their crushes like school girls. Meanwhile, Hanji makes a bet as to what type of underwear Rico wears.


**Pretty in Pink**

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"Ahhh! Hanji! This one is so cute!" Petra called to the squad leader with a smile, putting the frilled green blouse up to Hanji's chest, "Green is your colour." She smiled up at the older woman, spinning around. It was one of their rare days off, so she had decided to gather two of her closest lady friends, Rico and Hanji, and bring them into town!

Hanji took some convincing, she had wanted to spend the extra day studying on her own. But this time she wasn't interested in studying titans! She had wanted to study a particular species of butterfly that had been seen in the walls for the first time in almost two decades. Alas, Petra was too convincing and far too determined to spend time with them. 'Come on! It's so important Hanji! We only have so long here!' A morbid mentality, but it was one many of the scouts had been forced to embrace,

Rico had been thankful for the distraction from her work, however. She had been cooped up the the Garrison barracks for far too long, it was good to be able to breathe air that didn't smell like the sweat of soldiers who had conveniently forgotten to shower, or vomit from one of her cohorts frequent midnight outings, where they had drunk a little too much. Only here she was about to choke on a variety of perfumes and the scent of linens. While the later was for less… disgusting… She wasn't sure which she would rather.

"You're right!" Hanji smiled, looking in the mirror, "It's far too delicate for me though, I'd tear it in a day." She frowned, looking to Rico, "What do you think?"

Rico snapped out of her reverie and looked up, "H'm… Well I'm thinking about the time I lent you my chiffon scarf and you let it get torn by a titan." That was the last time she ever leant Hanji anything of value to her. "But Petra is right, green really brings out your complexion." Ah, such lovely olive skin. Hanji was naturally blessed in that aspect.

"Aw, you're so sweet!" Hanji said, putting it back on the rack, completely ignoring Rico's statement about the scarf. She had said that she was sorry a thousand times! It had been necessary for science! She wanted to test the titans' fine motor skills, and the scarf was just small enough to examine their grip strength on small objects! She had even gotten her a new one. Hanji suddenly gasped, picking up a pink dress and pouncing on Rico, tackling her to the ground. "Go try this on!"

"Eh?" Rico shook her head, looking at the dress, "Hanji… I don't wear pink." She was teased enough in the barracks just for wearing a skirt! (Which she had only done once, she didn't enjoy the unnecessary attention) "The cut of the dress is nice though..." Petra giggled, helping both girls up.

"Aw come on." Hanji rolled her eyes, "You're totally the type that feigns a hatred for pink, but then wears the girliest pink panties."

"EH?!" Rico exclaimed, her face lighting up like a christmas tree, "I do not! And that's personal!"

Petra laughed again, sitting down to watch the commotion. Her feet hurt from the shoes she was wearing. She was so used to the boots they wore in the military. "She has a point Rico." She leaned her head into her hands, "Come to think of it, you never come to the lingerie store with us!" She shot up, pointing through the window to the shop across the street.

"Because it's frivolous!" Rico explained, taking this as an attack on her pride. "I don't have time to worry about whether I'm wearing a matching set or whatever it is that… you people worry about." She was confused. She barely had time to make sure her pants matched her shirt on her days off, let alone everything else. "I prefer functionality over fashion."

"Uh Huh." Hanji said, putting the dress back. "Those well manicured nails scream a whole different picture."

"And there was this one time I found a pair of leopard print panties in the Commander's office while I was cleaning it…." Petra smirked, knowing that Rico and Erwin were good friends. "And a few stray… silver hairs." She whispered as she twirled Rico's hair around her right index finger.

Rico was so embarrassed that she started to stutter. "S-so! You d-don't even know if they were my hairs! And even i-if they were, that doesn't prove I own pink under garments!" She grabbed both of their shirt collars, pulling them close and growling at them. Petra was truly terrified of the woman when she saw her like this, her steely eyes sent chills through every bone in her body. Hanji on the other hand thought it was hilarious to anger the woman, who was usually so calm and collected, "And if you ever bring this up again, I will sell everything I own to purchase a billboard confessing your loves for Oluo and Levi."

"You wouldn't dare!" They both said in unison. Though Rico's defense only made them more suspicious.

"Olou would never believe it anyway." Petra said, dusting herself off, "And he thinks I'm a nag."

"Levi would sooner cut off his own hand than maintain any sort of physical contact with me." Sure she sometimes forgot to bathe. But that was because she was too busy! She was too busy to eat sometimes! He should understand that.

"Come to think of it…" Petra looked to Rico, was who now looking at a simple black skirt, "If those y'know… just _happened_ to be your undergarments in the commander's office… Just how did they get there? I mean… How would you have done it?"

"Hypothetically, if they were mine. If!" She looked at them in a scolding manner, "They would have gotten there after a period of honesty between the two of us. Where I would have told him… of my feelings."

"And hypothetically, would he have reciprocated them?" Hanji asked with an all too knowing smirk on her face.

"Would he have undressed me otherwise?" She raised a brow, picking out a white dress for Petra, "And also, he hypothetically would have invited me over to his house on Saturday for dinner."

"Ohhh!" Petra cheered, hugging her friend, "Congratulations! I know you've been crushing on him for so long!" It made her happy to see her friends happy. They were so perfect for eachother! They were both so dedicated, and loyal, and smart! "You and Erwin will be happy together!"

Rico smiled, hugging them both, "Oh relax, it's only a first date. There's no telling where it will go from here. We could… both die tomorrow for all we know." That was why it was so important to not wait in this world. To not wait to tell someone what you had been hiding from them.

Hanji smiled, licking Rico's cheek and then fleeing. She couldn't stand being all… mushy for too long. And of course, she had to make it a game. What she didn't expect was for Rico to throw a shoe at her, which ultimately ended up with all three of them being kicked out of the store.

Rico didn't take this well. "I have soiled the name of the garrison regiment with my behavior." She sighed, hanging her head low. It was pathetic.

Petra laughed, patting her back, "Aw come on! The garrison already does that at every bar in town!" Hanji laughed at this, knowing it was true.

"Tch!" Rico folded her arms, slightly ticked off by that. Though eventually the humour in Petra's statement eventually made its way to her, and a smile crept up her face. "You're an ass, Petra." She joked, elbowing the redhead, seeing that she was hiding her face, "huh?" She looked across the street to see Levi, Erwin, and Oluo drinking tea at a tea shop. "Oh, what are the chances of that." She wasn't even aware that Oluo and Erwin were friends.

"Shh!" Petra said, slowly lowering her hands. "They might hear us."

"Oh you're pathetic." She said as she stood up from the bench, taking both of their hands and dragging them towards the tea shop.

"Wait wait wait!" Hanji exclaimed, "We can't just rush in there! We have to observe their behavior before making any rash decisions!"

"They're at a fucking tea shop!"

"Yeah but are they drinking tea, coffee, water, vodka?! We don't know!"

"Hanji's right! We can't just-"

Before they could say anything more, Rico threw them into the shop, and fixed her hair. She was going to make them talk to them about something other than work!

The men looked up startled at their sudden and violent entrance, "Good afternoon." Erwin was the first to speak up, "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" He could see why they would want to gather their friends and go on an outing, after all, he had organised the same thing. Though only Levi and Oluo had taken him up on his offer.

"Quite." Rico said as she took a seat, and her companions did the same, "Great choice in tea shops, by the way." She loved this place.

"Actually, it was Levi's idea." He smiled to the man, who was just quietly sipping at his chosen tea. Levi was uncomfortable with this whole situation, though if one didn't know him extremely well, they would never be able to tell. He felt squished, he was practically pinned up against the window. "What are you three doing out?"

Petra smiled, looking to Rico for encouragement, "Well… I just thought it would be a good idea for the three of us to go shopping together."

"How girly." Oluo said, sipping at his tea.

"And I'm a girl so… irrelevant." Petra said, "I'm not the one drinking jasmine tea."

"Tsk."

"It's 'tch'." Levi corrected. If he was going to copy him every time Petra was around, he might as well do it right! Why was four eyes staring at him? She was… creepy in her off time. "Four eyes, where are your glasses?" He asked, completely baffled. Her hair was neat too! "I'm having a nightmare, Erwin. Wake me up."

Hanji laughed, "I didn't know Erwin would be in close proximity to you while you're sleeping."

"All the time- wait." Levi narrowed his eyes, "It's not like that." _Don't let her get a rise out of you. That's what she wants._

"Levi's shower has been breaking often, and the repair crew his building hires always makes a huge mess, so he's been staying with me until they're done." Of course, once they fixed it, it would just end up breaking a week later.

"So Erwin, what kind of underwear does Rico wear?" Hanji asked, having zero tact. A question had been posed, and she was going to answer it.

Rico looked ready to kill the scientist, but Petra and Levi held her back. Erwin nearly dropped his tea, "Oh dear." He looked to Rico, who was glaring daggers at him, "I'm not at liberty to disclose that information." He was certainly not the type to kiss and tell! "Nor would I ever." He smiled proudly. Hanji could have sworn she saw a small hair flick.

Rico sighed and her captors set her down. "This is not the end." She said to Hanji, glaring at her.

"Indeed." Hanji smirked back, she was going to find this out if it killed her. And she had a plan.

* * *

"This is insane, and highly illegal." Petra said. It was late in Saturday night, most of the town was sleeping, except the prostitutes that wandered the streets. "Hanji, you can't be serious." Rico was going to kill them!

"Relax." Hanji said with an ever present smirk on her face. They were huddled together in the bushes outside Erwin's home, watching through the windows. She could see Levi drinking tea, and reading some sort of novel. Hanji remembered the time when he couldn't even write his own name, she had taught him how to read and write. Now he read before bed every single day. The people on the surface took their education for granted, that was for sure. But Levi would make use of any tool he was given. "All we have to do is pull the fire alarm… Once we know she's undressed." Hanji smirked, rubbing her hands together, "She totally sleeps without pants!"

"You're…" Petra shook her head. Perhaps it was best not to say. Hanji was insane. But she couldn't believe that she had somehow gotten caught up in her plan! "How will we know that?"

"Levi will look uncomfortable. Duh." She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I really doubt that they would leave the door open…?" She sneezed as she accidentally inhaled some pollen. This was a mess.

"You're…" Hanji shook her head. Perhaps it was best not to say! Petra was innocent. Almost too innocent… She watched Levi raise a brow, but there seemed to be no one near him, "That's it."

"Are you kidding me? That was nothing. He just read an interesting passage in his book." Petra sighed, Hanji was definitely insane.

"Yeah, if his book is smut. God, learn Levi's calling signs." She snuck out of the bushes with her cohort following closely behind. "They're totally pink."

"You're totally crazy." Petra covered her mouth to stifle the giggles as Hanji put her hands on the fire alarm. She pulled it and ran, nearly leaving the redhead behind. Hanji could make out Levi's form closing his book, and getting up calmly to investigate the sound of the blaring alarm. Instantly lights from all over the area turned on as people left their homes to investigate. Erwin came out with Rico, both robbed, and looking around curiously, seeing as the alarm was coming from their building. "They have robes on, Hanji, the plan is a bust."

"Never give in!" She cheered, darting up to the unsuspecting couple, lifting up Rico's robe from behind, "Pink!" She shouted, and Rico jumped to get away from her, immediately patting down the back of her robe, "I win!" The Garrison member's face was an even darker shade of electric pink than her underpants.

"HANJI!" Both robed people screamed.

Needless to say, both Hanji and Petra were stuck cleaning the mess hall alone for a whole month. Everytime Erwin would stand watch over them, Hanji would repeat the same thing: "Fuckin' worth it."


End file.
